Monday, August 31, 2015

Harry McAfee's Rant

I have tried to run this house on a democratic basis. I have extended the privilege of self-determination to both the woman I have married and the children I have sired. The vote has been denied to no one for the reasons of age, sex, or political affiliations. There has been no taxation without representation and open covenants have been openly arrived at. 

Last night I gave up my room to a guest who repeatedly referred to me as “Fats.” Telephone calls were made on my phone to New York, Chicago, Fairbanks, Alaska, and Hong Kong. I slept in a camp cot with my feet in the fireplace and my head in an ashtray while, outside my window, three harpies shrieked, “We love you Conrad,” 4723 times! 

Gentlemen, the democracy is over! Parliament has been dissolved, the Magna Carta has been revoked, and Nero is back in town. 

And you do not offer an emperor a warm 7-Up!! 

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